Monday, June 30, 2008

Take your honor roles, and certificates and shove it.

I was walking home from a night at Dave & Busters about 10 minutes ago. A Junior High School acquaintance moved to the block I live in about 5 years ago.
As I walked pass by his house, took a glimpse into his window, I saw your typical framed document of a diploma, or some sort of honors certificate. 

Almost immediately as I saw that, I felt a form of resent towards this person;
not because he's achieved something I haven't, nor its because I'm in anyway envious of him (which I am not).

This resentment came from one of my most basic beliefs, that knowledge should not be achieved through formal education.
I agree that, such a certificate does indeed present a well credential in one's office, as a tattoo artist presents their favorite tats into their portfolio of their tattoo parlor.
but to post it in their own household? I think that's a bit too narcissistic. 

I don't know, maybe I'm being a hypocrite. But I feel as though the certificates are a form of conformity that you've given your identity and worthiness on the sole basis of a piece of paper, though someone who has the same certificate who doesn't have the same level of eloquence and ability to perform at the quality of another. 
All a bunch of mish mosh.

I suppose that's the reason why I choose to post my photographs on my wall rather than these certificates...but in a sense, my photographs are the equivalent to those certificates.

Sunday, June 29, 2008


One must consider the potential danger of the outside environment we encounter daily, even our repetitive routines.

My outside daily routine is as followed, walk to bus stop, take bus to train station, train from Brooklyn to Manhattan. Herald Square to Madison Square Garden. Stay inside bank till 6:30PM. Reverse the process to home.

Along the way, I can think of: 
random robbery(bus, train, work)
shoot-outs (bus, train, work)
crashes(bus, train)
bridge collapsing(train)
fire(bus, train, work)

Where would I be safe? Not home, neither. I live by Atlantic Ocean.
Brooklyn is pretty much flat. Not that high of a sea level.
I cannot swim. Not that it would matter.

My point is, no matter what, we are mortal. Memento Mori.
Alas, While I understand death must occur in every life force,
as I have gotten older, its appearance is occurring more often.
I've slowly grown afraid of it.
Whether it's myself, my friends, and my family,
I'm afraid of a random occurrence happening before natural causes. 
Even then, I'd be in so much grief...

I honestly have no idea what I'm typing, I just read about a death of a friend of mine in Florida, and though I don't know the person who passed away, I have that sense of loss.....

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Random ramblings....part I of many.

New Fascination.

Recently, I've been listening to more Hip-hop.
In fact, I find myself skipping my rock songs and selecting my slowly growing hip-hop collection that's on my iTunes or Blackberry.
There is no denial that this sudden hip-hop fascination came from another fascination that I've becoming interested in-- breakdancing + pop&locking. Pretty much the whole hip-hop dancing.

"Jason, where exactly is the root of this new unlikely interest?" you ask.

Women. That's right. It is all because of women.
I routinely check numerous sites daily.
Ranging from movies, celebrity gossip, sneakers, fashion, to of course. Women.
This is the site where I found the dance crew Kaba Modern, and was the first place I even heard of the MTA show "America's best dance crew":

Careful though, its NSFW. haha.
From kaba modern, I branched out to the show itself, and I'm currently watching the second season of the show, which has just begun....
*still can't get over the fact that the fanny pack crew beat the all pinoy group*

But ever since this whole interest arose, I've been slowly learning moves, the extreme basics...
I'm still trying to do handstands for more than one second, but I'll get there, even if I get bruises in the process. Otherwise, I've learned how to do digits (tony tran's magic fingers. youtube it if you don't know what it is), basic and master swiping, 6step, the steps on how to do a windmill, and hopefully I'll do a backflip soon. The thing that stops me is that I'm absolutely horrible at controlling my breaths. So when I'm doing a handstand, I completely how to breath, making me red instantaneously.

Well, let's hope I don't get bored this interest. I want to at least be able to connect a few moves before I quit. :P

I'm you're typical Asian Male.

I've asked so many people this question: Do you view me as shy?

Most of the time, I hear "no".
In truth, I'm timid, and I'm conscious.
I believe the only reason why I've been single for the past 4 months is because I haven't been able to approach a girl and find a new one is because I don't have the courage to go up to a girl and speak to them. (Minus Jareena from California. It was spontaneous that I decided to talk to her and get her information.)

My pair of balls are too spontaneous and I need something more stable.
So I have to decide, either grow a better pair or I'll be single until someone I'm not all that crazy about comes along.

For instance, today after work as I was walking to Macy's to buy Chrome Legend, there was this petite Asian girl who was walking right behind my co-workers and me, I kept looking back to look at her. She smiled, but I couldn't do anything. I tried making excuses for it.
I wanted to think that it's because I wanted to buy the cologne that I decided not to hold my co-workers up.

But in reality, I'm too much of a fucking wimp to approach her.

What's happening to my game? I even feel as though my flirtatiousness has gone down, too.

I need a muse, I need reassurance, I need to lift myself off of the floor and have my ego up high like I used to...

The loneliness is finally setting in.

Je ne suis pas heureux en ce moment.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I live excessively, and I do not deny it, I own more colognes, candles, shoes, and t-shirts I'll possibly ever care to use. Yet there is no stopping it, upon my daily routines on checking my blogs/update sites, I stumbled upon what I am now proclaiming to the be holy grail of Converse Chucks.


I'm utterly speechless on how amazing these babies look. They're releasing next month. And There is a high chance of me buying 2-3pairs just so I can rock it when no one else has it. =D

FIrst of many, hopefully...

I've been on a writing hiatus for God knows how long.
I decided I should give blogging another chance, assuming the things I'll blog about is worthwhile.

Look forward to an actual blog, sometime in the future...